Puberty

Sam, age 11, had the puberty talk at school yesterday, given by a male school counselor from a local elementary school. I knew what the talk would entail because I had been given a preview at the school.

Two great statements came out of the whole thing:

Me: Sam, did you ask any questions after the presentation was over?

Sam: Well, you could put questions in a question box and I thought about asking, "why do all men want big balls, but I decided it wasn't appropriate."

Good call, Sam. And I didn't know all men wanted big balls, but whatever

Sam: So they told us about wet dreams. And you know what Eric (friend of Sam) said? He said that he's been having those since he was three and that he's had 180 of them.

Rock on, Eric!! 180 WDs over eight years comes to 22.5 WDs a year, or 1.875 a month, which is pretty impressive for an elementary school kid.

Several Firsts

Erika and I just got back from Vegas. Every time we go, we have a "first." This time there were several firsts, some I can't repeat. But my favorite was when Erika got propositioned. She was offered $20,000 if she would go up to "the Suite" at the Hard Rock with this guy we met (who called himself Vegas Dave) and take off her clothes for two minutes. No joke. It was nice to have an extra $20K to gamble with.

Another first was when we were at the Trader Vic's outside bar on the Strip. This time I was being harassed by some gold chain wearing dude from Santa Monica. He was possibly the most egotistical dickhead I've ever met. He said that he had gotten on a double decker bus the night before and that all of these drunken girls were begging him to let them give him blow jobs. I don't buy it. Only in Vegas.

The next first was when we were at this same said bar, drinking vodka tonics, and this Brit dude, who we nicknamed Austin Powers, gets up and wows the bar with his dancing abilities. Moments before this, he had a bucket on his head and was dancing with his pants down. I wish I hadn't missed that photo op.



This may not be funny in this video, but it was hilarious in real life. Truly. So if you haven't been to Sin City lately, you're missing out. You need to go and experience your own set of "firsts."