Dr. Dick

I went to the urologist with my mom yesterday. Having not spent any time with a urologist, I wasn't quite sure what they did. I knew it had something to do with urine (or that was my guess because I'm pretty good at looking at words and breaking them up to find their meanings). Sitting in the waiting room and seeing all the pamphlets on viagra and erectile dysfunction, I quickly realized that the urologist must cover all kinds of issues from the waist down. Not, however, to be confused with the gynecologist or proctologist in any way. My mom was filling out the form indicating her health history. I told her she should put "erectile dysfunction" down just for laughs. She didn't want to do that.

After I had read every "Martha Stewart" and "Country Living" magazine in the waiting room (I skipped the edition of "You and Your Urine") I started looking around. I realized that there are two doctors in the practice. My mom was seeing the woman. The other doctor's name was - get this - Dr. Weiner.

Does your name have anything to do with your destiny?

These are real:

Chiropractor: Dr. McCracken
Dentist: Dr. Molar
G.I. Doc: Dr. Butt
Orthopedisit: Dr. Bonz
Driver's Ed Teacher: Mr. Carr
Hearing Aid Doc: Dr. Silence
Urologist: Dr. Cockburn

Cockburn??? Are you kidding me?

Do you think if you are born with a name like, let's say, Lester Vachina, are you more likely to become a gynecologist than the average person? If kids ridiculed you for fifteen years about your name being so close to the word vagina, is there something subconscious that would cause a person to gravitate towards a profession having to do with female genitalia? Just curious. Someone should do a research project. I think I'm onto something big.